my six-word memoirs

These six words on the door speak volumes. Photo taken 11/3/05 in Bicol province, Philippines.


In the most recent issue of Time Out New York (1/31-2/6/08) they referred to a six-word memoir contest held by Smith Magazine. The most famous six-word story was written by Hemingway, who when challenged to come up with a story in six words, penned this unbeatable zinger: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

Smith received 15,000 contest entries, of which the one that won was "Barrister, barista, what's the diff, Mom?" TONY also did its own survey, wandering around the city and asking random people to come up with their own 6 words. The results are on page 2 of their recent issue (and can also be found here).

So of course when I read that article I had to immediately put the magazine aside and come up with my own version. A six-word memoir! Very cool challenge. I set the timer to 30 minutes (you know, like a test administrator) and willed myself to come up with 6 versions.

Here are my 6-word memoirs. Wanna share with me yours?

1. (RECANTED!)

2. I treat employment like bad boyfriends.

3. Awesome marriage, why aren't we parents?

4. Abused infant, sullen child, healed woman.

5. I've written 45 diaries, all unread.

6. Most frequent statement made: "It's over."


It turns out Smith Magazine also created a website for such 6-word submissions. Hmmm, maybe I'll post the above six.... nah, I don't think so.

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Addendum 2/1/08: It took 48 hours after I had written the first item in the list above for me to realize that I was OUT OF MY FREAKING MIND to have written something like that. (I had written something about praying for lay-offs so that my situation can decide for me and not the other way around). Within days of writing that I was beseiged by current events and personal news of people being let go due to the faltering economy. My immediate reaction, being typical me: "Mother of God, what have I done??!!"

I am so sorry for posting that thought. I was being all self-deprecating and cynical, and only later did I realize I was putting out there more than that.

"Two people are coming out of a building." - #2 of 5

Dresser. Photo taken 2/17/07.


(Portrait 2)

Two people are coming out of a building. An older woman with a lanky frame tells her son, "I wrote down his phone number in case you can't get a hold of me." The son takes what she hands him and puts it in his wallet alongside a wad of receipts. He doesn't notice what the paper looks like.

Years later he tries to come back to this moment again and again, trying to find a new clue. The contents of his wallet of that day remains piled up on the dresser, untouched since the last time he pored through it. The pile has started to look like a shrine. Or a pile of kindling, waiting to catch fire. Cremated along with the rest, but he does not like to think of it that way.

"Two people are coming out of a building." (5 portraits) - #1

View at the top of Sacre Coeur church (Montmartre, Paris). Photo taken 10/19/06.


"The only exercise I know is one I don't use much myself because it works a little too well. It can feel extremely compelling. It's useful if you're trying to discover what to write next, and are willing to be surprised. Say to yourself, 'Two people are coming out of a building.'"

- Allice Mattison, Now Write!

(Portrait 1)

Two people are coming out of a building. The lawyer, Mr. Earl, asks Rita, "How did you know it was over? I'm curious after what I just saw in there."

Rita doesn't answer right away. She holds the door open for him. Then she laughs. "Actually, I knew during our honeymoon.

We were in Paris, as a gift from my dad, at the Sacre Coeur church to be exact," she explains. "He jumped the turnstiles because he didn't want to pay five euros to climb up to the top. The tourists behind us looked at him like he was some kind of animal. 'It's a goddam roof,' he says. 'Why the hell would I pay money for that?'"

"That was when I knew," Rita says. "It's one thing to be cheap when you're on vacation, but right then and there I saw him haggling with plumbers and cashiers for the next 20 years, and I just didn't want to go there. I think that was the start.

That night I couldn't bring myself to touch him. I picked a fight and used that as an excuse to sleep early."

folder #2 (Sony) = Bryant Park, daytime

Photos taken 12/4/07. InDesign layout done 1/24/08.


File Folder #2 (Sony SLR-like)

What: Bryant Park during the holiday season

When: Dec 4, 2007

Where: 41st-42nd Sts. between 5th + 6th Aves., NYC

Why: My manager told me I could take my time coming in that morning so I took the opportunity to shoot the fanatic 8-9am ice skaters.

The rest of the folder could be found here.

Note: Some of the shots were photoshopped to grayscale (aka black-and-white) while portions of it were left in color. Yes, I know this has been done and it's cliche but I've never done it myself so I wanted to give it the good ole try.

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In other news:

It's all coming together now. This morning I checked out Superhero's photoblog and -- gasp! -- I saw that there's finally a place for me to join when it comes to my photos. Shutter Sisters is a community to post shots, and join photo contests, and get freaky-dicky inspired. I am so excited about this that I feel a bit faint. Now it makes sense why I deleted ALL my Flicker photos a few days ago and at the same time I came up with my Eureka idea of using this photoblog to archive and weed out my e-folders.

When I kept pressing the delete button in Flickr I was like, "why am I doing this?" And my insides were like, "Do it! Just do it!." The next day I came up with my archiving-weeding eureka moment and then I pitched the idea to Ats (aka Judge Connie, Mayor of All Montoyas) so she can monitor me every week.

I thought I was doing all of these just to organize. It turns out I was doing it to clean house so I can make way for the New that was knock-knock-knocking on my heavenly door.

I'll post my Flickr link once it's live again (which means I've officially joined Shutter Sisters). Yeehah!

folder #1 (Exilim) = Kayla's Halloween party at her daycare

Photos taken 10/27/06. InDesign treatment above done 1/21/08.

A thousand thanks for all that you are, Ate. I am grateful to you for being my willing Muse and cosmic older sibling in this project.

Here we go, then.

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File Folder #1 (Casio Exilim point-and-shoot)

What: Kayla's Halloween party

When: Oct 27, 2006

Who attended (not nec. in pics): her Mommy and Daddy, her Lolo and Lala, her Auntie T

Where: her daycare

Why is Ate looking at this: family shots, and because I asked her to.

More photos of this event can be found here. (You don't have to have a Kodak Gallery account. Just press the "slideshow" button.)

beautiful man in a beautiful world

At Olympic National Park, WA. Photo taken 8/3/04.


This part of Lorin was really present today during the Reiki circle we participated in, hosted by our Reiki teacher. The day was everything true and right. One of the things I love about it, besides receiving and giving the Reiki itself, was seeing Lorin when he gets in this state. It's impossible for me not be deeply in love with this man.

where in the world is Teaneck T?

Oh, let's see. I've been on the 25th floor of here:


Grace Building, midtown. Photo taken 1/11/08.


And I've also, at the same exact time, have been here:

Puffin preserve, Teaneck. Photo taken 1/9/08.


But my sister, with her newbie enthusiasm for photography, has inspired me to come back to this site again. Through her I have learned once more that sometimes, especially when it comes to feeling alive, enthusiasm really is everything.

does this mean I can apply for film jobs?

Slide show compilation created 11/24/07 using Photoshop Elements. It took me a long time to discover it even had pan and zoom settings for video. Geesh!


Pretended to be Ken Burns this weekend while feeling under the weather. All the photos I took off Mike's kodakgallery so they're lo-res. Hopefully when I have more energy I can compile my own hi-res photos (or other people's original hi-res) and make crisper slides.

Anyway, I'm sharing with you the ceremony part of the baptism. The get-down party afterwards has more photos, which I hope to make a slide out of before the child goes to college.

Serendipitously catching a photo shoot at the Brooklyn Bridge. Photo taken 9/24/07 while doing the Big Onion Walking Tour of Brooklyn Bridge and Brooklyn Heights.


Oy. I've noticed that neither me nor my blogista pals have posted a new entry in a while (I'm talking to you AgB, Rainbow Flower, and Creative Path). Has blogging become a thing of the past?

Duh, of course it has. Blogs have been out for as long as Ryan Seacrest has been the host of E! News. But I know for a fact that my blogging has nothing to do with it being a fad but everything to do with the versatility of the medium, and I'm pretty sure my friends felt similarly.

In any case, hope this entry incites an online journal/scrapbook revival. I miss reading new entries of my friends' blogs.

5 Random Confessions Teaneck T Is Willing to Make Today

1. I've begun watching The Hills. Yes, you are allowed to make fun of me for this. There's something about watching these vapid teen-agers create drama out of sheer boredom that fascinate the living crap out of me.

2. Of this year so far:
Best book I've read = Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Worst book I've read = Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis. I couldn't get past page 10. Started the book on the bus ride from Port Authority; the bus has barely entered I-95 and I was done with the book.

Most surprising book = Creating a Life Worth Living by Carol Lloyd. This is a 97-cent galley copy Lorin bought at the Strand more than a decade ago. While reading it I kept marveling at how helpful and enjoyable it is, and how the choices I've made over the years might potentially have been far different if I had read this book sooner.

Most disappointing book = How to be Good by Nick Hornby. Oh, this book makes me Sigh with a capital S. I love love love Nick Hornby. I thought the guy could rewrite the phone book and it would come out good. I guess not. But I nevertheless remain proud of the guy for taking risks with his writing. All real artists have a "bring it on" attitude when it comes to trying out new things, and he certainly did that with this book.


3. I was playing with Kayla last weekend. We were playing some pretend royalty game that involves an inflatable ball. At some point, figuring I had given her ample attention, I asked her if it's okay now for me to go up and say hello to her baby sister. To which Kayla replied, "No. You already said hi to her." I stared at her, giving her the ole sober-adult look. Kayla looked at the ground and pouted. "No," she repeated. "You're my Duchess Triccie."

4. The idea of writing entire notebooks in numbered-list format excites me to no end. I saw Into the Wild yesterday (excellent flick; highly recommended) and saw that the guy wrote like that. As in:
"31. rice emergency in a few days.
32. I should never have shot that moose."

Even though I was very much into the movie, a part of me started taking notes when I saw him write like that. Sure enough, when I woke up this morning the note-taker presented me with those scenes from the movie, and I got excited again.

5. I've already decided that next spring I'll be going on the 7-day Rick Steves walking tour of Rome, God willing. With or without Lorin. Walk Rome or bust.


And you -- any random confessions you care to make? Five in number or otherwise?

Back of the Canterbury Cathedral (Kent, UK). Photo taken 6/15/07.

wonderwoman strikes again

From the upcoming unbound series. Painting by Pax Bobrow of New Orleans, aka Teaneck T's best gal. Photo taken by Pax on Aug 2007.


The inimitable Pax is working on a series of paintings that will hopefully be on exhibit next year in New Orleans. In between feeding the baby and picking up the toddler from school and making dinner and taking classes and, oh, five dozen other things moms do, Pax has been picking up her paintbrush and out flows this. Could this woman BE any more amazing?

If you want to buy this painting, or any of her other paintings, contact me. I'll make you an offer you can't refuse. (Though really the voice will be coming from her finance manager-slash-husband.)

Corner view of Palais de Justice, Paris. Photo taken 10/16/06. Applied black-and-white and graphic pen screens using Photoshop Elements on 7/30/07.



One of the streets near Hotel de Ville, Paris. Photo taken 10/16/06. Applied sepia tone using Photoshop Elements on 7/30/07.

Assignment #4: Photograph a face that mysteriously appears

At Bandelier National Monument in New Mexico. Photo taken January 1999.


Yet another photo from my archives that meets Superhero's (August 20) challenge. I am 99.99% sure that this was not a human-carved rock, but instead a natural rock that looked that way in that angle with that light when Trish and I were hiking up the cliff. But if Trish still checks out this blog she can correct me. I could have sworn the reason why I took the picture was because it suddenly looked so odd and came out of nowhere.

Oh my god, as I write this I just realized: TODAY is Trish's birthday!

I am stunned beyond words. What are the chances I'll be writing something that mentions Trish, which I don't often do, on her birthday of all days? The Universe is laughing right now.


Happy, happy birthday, o wonderful, beautiful babe!

I stole this picture of the birthday girl right off her kick-ass website while creating this entry. Photo taken by hubby Jon, I'm guessing, on 3/9/07.

The beautiful Lily. Photo taken by either mommy Amy or daddy Peter in April 2007, when she turned one.

"Assignment #3: Photograph a heart that appears on your path"

At Cape May. Photo taken 7/9/05.


I was all ready to go to bed and just happened to check out the latest entry (8/13/07) of Superhero's photoblog and suddenly my sleepiness vanished. For I too have a photo that meets the challenge she poses.

The original photo challenge appears here: Hearts that you've come across while walking around in this galaxy.

So I dug up this photo from 2 years ago. Hope you see what I saw. (From my monitor here in Teaneck it comes through.)

The heart is everywhere, even when it doesn't seem that way.

"Mel, don't you want to join us?"

Photo taken (surreptitiously) on 7/8/07.


As a present to my friend Strelecktology who not only did further retouching of the 1970s photo below but also called my dad "debonair," I'm sharing here something I wrote a few months ago. I wrote it during an in-class exercise assignment in a Memoir course I was taking at Gotham. The task was to write for 10 minutes on a character you've picked, and to give it some telling info, quick lines, showing the class the scene.

Here's what I came up with. As a general rule, I don't like to post crafted, more serious pieces on this blog since I like to keep it fun and silly, but I am aware this excuse is yet another of my many excuses that keep me from publishing my work.

So here it is. It's a gift to my buddy Strelecktoshop; to whoever is reading this entry; to my father who does not know about this blog and who will never know about it (if I have any say in the matter); and of course to myself and my scaredy cat ways.

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(the sketch)

When my dad was laid off at the law firm he worked for as a paralegal, the firm did not know he himself was a lawyer for over 20 years in Manila, and that he in fact knew more about old-school legal interpretations than they did. But what they did know was that he had a very thick accent when he spoke English and that he refused to say good morning to the partners, and eventually they just got fed up enough with both factors to permanently kick him out.

So my dad spent the following months sitting on one end of the couch, smoking as he gazed to his right, which was where the living room windows were. Except he wasn't really looking out the windows. He held on to a wine glass and nursed his drink for about two hours, and when he was done he refilled it and nursed it again for another two, sitting near the windows and appearing to look past them.

"Mel, don't you want to join us?" my mother asked every evening as we gathered round the dinner table, but my dad never responded to this question. He would just shake his head and continue smoking, the ashtrays filling up. He would get up only to empty them.

But once in a while he would walk over to the piano and then he would play, one song after another, the notes filling the house. "Moonlight Sonata" or "Speak Softly Love," which was the love theme to the Godfather, or even a slow, unrecognizably elegiac version of "Macarthur's Park." In between songs he took a drag of his cigarette or gulped his drink, sat quietly for a few minutes, before playing again.

He never waited for the phone to ring. My dad didn't apply for jobs, not for a long while, and we all just moved and lived around him, waiting for him to finish biding his time.


(copyright © 2007 Theresa Montoya)

my parents on Golden Pond

Kayla's Lolo and Lala. Photo taken on 7/8/07 at my dad's birthday party in Wyckoff. Btw, I love this li'l raccoon streak thing my Mom has going on. And I'm in this shot too. That watch is the one I got him at the Zurich airport when we were marooned there for 4 days during 9/11. My dad has been wearing it everyday since he receivedt it.


I count this as one of my lucky shots since my Dad is not a smiler. When he laughs, though, it's pretty infectious, and usually he's laughing over some wry joke he made or something Kayla said.

My friend Strelecktomisis made a comment on a photo I found of my dad taken 30 years ago (posted somewhere in this site), which made me realize that that this photo posted above makes a nice before-and-after contrast. Attorney Dad versus retired Grandpa. Serious and inscrutable, versus mellow and content.


(Original post of this was in April 2005). Photoshop adjusted on 7/11/07 per Slick Strelecktor's advise (thanks much!).

dog-tired

Barney boy takes a breather. Photo taken 7/7/07 at his home in Wyckoff.


Until further notice, this puppy will be posting just photos.

Enjoy the silence.

who da Photoshop queen? who? who?

Teaneck T goes wild with Photoshop. Rendering done 7/29/07. Original photo of this wall at Sainte-Chapelle (Paris) at taken 10/16/06.


My eternal gratitude to the greatest Photoshop guru in America is still going strong. Norman, wherever you are, I hope I am still your teacher's pet.

For you Photoshop colleagues out there, making a photo adjustment like this entails the following: Make a dupe layer, then go to filter --> blur --> smart blur..... and then do 20 other complicated things, including making a sacrificial offering to the gods. Or you can just take the way awesome Photoshop class at Cooper Union with Norman. He. Kicks. Ass.

The original (unrendered) photo is below.

poll era begins

London. The top of some famous retail store near Picaddily Circus. Photo taken 6/14/07.


I loooooove survey questions. And since I can do whatever the hell I want in my corner of blogosphere, I would like to list some of my top picks on certain topics, and I would love to hear your responses of your favorites too. The part where you share your picks is important to me, so please see this as an open door invite. And let me know if there's a topic you want covered.

First up:

Top 5 Nonfiction Books I've Read the Past 5 Years -- and a brief explanation on why

1. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert = I felt I was reading about my twin sister. Teaneck T as travelling, meditating, feasting white woman. After I read it, I looked at the amount of reviews on Amazon that pelted the author for being so self-absorbed, and I was like, "Holy chihuahua! Mirror, face thyself!" Reason why I haven't jumped out the window yet given this discovery is that one of my favorite people of all time loves this book too and finds it one of the most beautiful book she has ever read.

2. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz = I loved this book so much that at one point I announced I would buy it for anyone who personally asked me for a copy.

3. The Modern Library Writer's Workshop by Stephen Koch = when I read this for a CUNY Grad class called Being Prolific, I said, "my goodness, no one has ever told me any of this!" My high school friend Linda, who happened to be my classmate (reunited and it feels so good...) felt the same way.

4. Two-Part Invention: Story of a Marriage by Madeleine L'Engle = her Crosswicks Journal books, which are her musings while living out in the country, are far more beautifully written to me than the fantasy trilogy that brought her fame. This book in particular stands out for its eloquence. And the structure of the book mimics the Bach work (hence the name) -- left hand's notes upholds the right hand's; flashbacks contrast the present; spouse supports the spouse. It's brilliantly done.

5. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay = this book opened up a whole new paradigm for me and forever changed the way I think. It has also oriented me towards other books that kept altering and deepening me.


Top 5 Nonfiction Books I Hope to Read in the Next 5 Years:

1. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

2. Wayne Dyer's upcoming book on the Tao

3. Zen Driving by K.T. Berger -- ha ha!

4. The Portable MFA in Creative Writing by the New York Writer's Workshop

5. Spiritual Traveller: New York City by Edward F. Bergman = looking forward to going to every place in this book with camera on hand

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What about you?