my newest sweetheart

6-month-old Sydney. Photo taken by some professional studio 2/28/08. Her mom's hand was apparently under her shirt tickling her to make her smile like that.


As adorable as this photo is, my niece is actually cuter in real life, especially when she is eating her foot. She reminds me of a little apple, with her round rosy cheeks and huge eyes. We all pass her around when we're over, the ball of sweetness that she is.

better uses of a camera

Kayla bundled up in our rocking chair. Photo taken 7/25/07.


Before I leave for a trip that would entail major hanging out with this little queen and her baby sister, I want to jot down here a story that happened last weekend before I forget. I know that when I come back I will have more little gems of wisdom from this 3 year old, and I would have forgotten all about our conversation last week.

So there we were at a baby shower last Saturday. Party for us girls only, Little Miss Kayla called it. While we were eating Ate hugged her and said, "Kayla, what would you want Auntie Chinky to give you for your birthday?"

"A digital camera," Kayla answered. She knows her birthday will be in a few weeks.

"A camera?!" I exclaimed. "For what?"

"To take pictures of my kids," she answered.

"And who are your kids?" I asked.

"I have lots of kids," she said. "I don't know their names, I only know Emma." Emma is the name of her doll.

I looked down at her seated figure next to me. I couldn't help but smile at her faraway expression. Kayla spoke up again. "I'll take pictures of my kids, and my husband Doug, and my dog."

"Doug's your husband? What about Sean? I thought Sean is your husband."

"We broke up," Kayla answered, nodding. She then went back to eating her rice which she insisted I place in her teacup.

FB video quasi-addendum

My friend Ken-do-no-wrong, aka the guy who will yell at me to get a new hearing aid when I'm 75. NY Botanical Gardens; photo taken 10/26/06.


Ooops, the Kenmeister didn't make the cut to my most-embarrassing FB video. For shame to me -- for making the video in the first place. I ran out of air time, Kenster.

What am I talking about. Ken is not a FaceBook friend; Ken is a real-time/non virtual-reality friend. I make it sound like that silly thing I created was my last will and testament. Oy.

Well in any case. Here you are, till we meet next week.

By the Bethesda Fountain, Central Park. Photo taken 2/19/08.


"They are the we of me."

- Carson McCullers,
Member of the Wedding

Ate's surprise bday party (12/8/07) - album

Kayla is yelling for cake. Photo taken 12/8/07 at Ate's surprise party.


A sure sign that I am fighting off an illness is that I am sluggish and procrastinating, which inevitably translates to being unable to tear myself off the online world. If I could make my way down to the couch I'll be watching TV all day. For now, since I can't get up, I'm on automatic pilot with going through my electronic folders and posting photos and answering emails and hanging out in Facebook. I need mental help. Maybe what I really need is to take my temperature.

I have to get myself to stop typing. S..t...o....p t...y...p..ing n..o...w, T-h-e-re-s-a-aa.......

More photos here. I need someone to make me tea.

about 24 hours before last night's lunar eclipse...

Moon over Teaneck, photo taken 2/19/08.


I just happened to be in the woods that time of early evening, running away as usual. Had nothing to do with the lunar eclipse. In fact, I didn't know about the eclipse until I read folks in Facebook making references to it.

last day of the week's daily posting

Corner roof detail of the Metropolitan Museum. Photo taken 11/3/06.


Done and done.

Alright, my li'l photoblog. Now that I have proven to you that I care about you, you and I are going to take a nice long break from each other. Maybe while I'm away you'll spontaneously generate photos on your own. Wouldn't that be a surprise.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Photo taken 5/2/07.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

My unforgettable love affair with The Gates at Central Park. Top photo taken 2/21/05; bottom photo 3/4/05. I was so gaga with these structures that I even showed up in the middle of a blizzard just to see what the saffron cloths looked like in blinding snow. (When I did, it felt like there were only 3 other humans and a dog besides myself in all of Central Park that morning.) What a passion I had the days I kept coming back to these gates. I was in pure heaven.

"That which God said to the rose,
and caused it to laugh in full-blown beauty,
he said to my heart,
and made it a hundred times more beautiful."

-Rumi, translated by Kabir Helminski

Pigeon. Washington Heights. Photo taken 1/23/08.

My cousin Nards and his wife Helen's wedding. Legazpi, Bicol (Philippines). Photo taken 11/5/05.

Looking straight up the Eiffel Tower. Photos taken 10/14/06.

Teaneck T gears up for Valentine's Week

Teaneck T feigning a candid shot. Photo taken 2/6/08 at Billy's Antiques (location of the Hannibal Lechter shot of 2/7/08 entry) on Houston, near the Bowery. The few guesses made re that entry were off, so I'm just cutting to the chase.


In celebration of the sacred day that is Valentine's day -- I do NOT believe this day to be for lovers only -- I'll be posting each day this week a photo I love. These photos won't necessarily be the top seven. They're just photos I've taken that I feel close to.

I heart you, my sweet little photoblog. Thank you for being such a lovely (and amusing!) channel of creative expression for me throughout these years.

5 Things Teaneck T Believes About Love:

1. Love is not a feeling. Nor is it a mood. Being in love, or having strong positive feelings for friend or family, is a form of love but not all of it. Love is the default energy state. It is the hum underneath all emotions, and the silence in between all thoughts.

2. Opening to love is a daily conscious decision. I've spent a good part of my life, from childhood through my early 30s, being afraid to love. I loved myself and others, yes, but it was always somewhat conditional. Mostly I played mind games, wanting to shield myself from the known, the unknown, and the imagined. It took a combination of getting sick and being undistracted from work -- in other words, it took a rebuilding of my life -- for me to choose love even when, and especially when, I would rather play a mind game. And only when I consciously clicked on to it did real transformation take place for me. These past few years I have lived many moments (though not all moments, for I am human) of what Shakespeare's Juliet proclaims in Act II: "My bounty is as boundless as the sea, / my love as deep; the more I give to thee / the more I have, for both are infinite. "

3. Love is the truth that insists on flowing, whether or not we want it to. When we choose to hold on to a feeling out of fear of what will happen without it -- for example, when we hold on to anger or happiness, or even romance -- or even when we are in denial of our feelings (ex: "I'm not bitter"), love gets bottlenecked. That's when life starts looking clogged, stagnant, or just plain wrong. Eventually, though, the dam will break. Drama will "happen" (aka, we will cause drama) and the situation will suddenly become a lesson, an unexpected challenge and chance for growth. Love is an energy that will flow no matter what. Whatever lessons on love and its expansion we choose not to get in this lifetime, we will have the chance to get on the next one.

4. Love is not earned. It is not deserved. It is not a tally of debits and credits. The issue of forgiving someone or needing to be forgiven is not in the heart or the spirit but in the wounded mind. Our inherent power that is love knows that everything that happens has to happen. We act, always, according to what we think is the best thing to do at that moment. Love knows that there there is nothing to regret, nothing to earn, nothing to forgive, nothing to discriminate, and nothing to block.

5. Love in relationship never dies. You might never see the person again, or you might not have the same kind of closeness, but your powerful heart transcends all space and time. There is no such thing as a memory of love. It's there always or it was never there at all.

"Two people are coming out of a building." - #5 of 5

Kukuihaele town (Big Island, HI). Photo taken 9/20/05.


(Portrait 5)

Two people are coming out of a building. One of them wanted to talk about Buddhism and the ways of continuing one's practice. The other just wanted to play.

"Two people are coming out of a building." - #4 of 5

8th Avenue, midtown. There's a morning phenomenon here that I still haven't figured out. Photo taken 8/25/04; rendered b-w afterwards.


(Portrait 4)

Two people are coming out of a building. The line waiting outside ceased all chatter. Some of the women lined up straightened their backs. The others kept their stance, watchful. The two men went down the line, looking at every face, sizing up arms and legs. Those who met the men's eyes were quickly passed over.

At the end of the line one of the men walked back to the front and pointed at five or six. He jerked his thumb towards the van nearby. Those women stepped forward. Some glanced back at their friends before climbing in. Both men followed.

Those who were not picked resumed their chatter, huddling in groups. A few walked to the street corner, looking at the cars passing by, undecided on what to do next.

takip (cover)

Teaneck, 12/2/07.


ugh, I couldn't take seeing that Hannibal Lechter as the first photo of this site, so I'm inserting this one as a temporary cover.

contest: name this place

Photo taken 2/6/08 (I originally posted 8/6/06 by mistake...huh, I wonder why).


You get a prize emailed to you if you can correctly name the scary scary place this photo was taken. Don't Google it, cheater. If no one responds to this contest call (which is more than bloody likely), I'll post the answer at end of month.

Hint: It's in Manhattan.
More specific hint: It's nowhere near Port Authority.

"Two people are coming out of a building." - #3 of 5

Big Island, Hawaii. Photo taken 9/19/05.


(Portrait 3)

Two people are coming out of a building
as I dreamt it. I waved to one of them,
and she smiled, but wouldn't come closer.
"Please don't forget," I called out, the air between us
shimmering in the desert heat. The other,
my grandfather, said, "Root yourself tall,
like those trees," and I knew what he meant
For then I was in the woods seeing the young saplings
growing on top of the old. "That's how it should be,"
he said, leaning on her elbow. I watched them turn
to go back inside. I held out my hands, somewhat vaguely
in the form of a plea, imploring, but when I woke I felt rested
a deep rumbling sleep that flows into a heavy pipe,
thickens and smooths. Something has snapped into the lid
and whatever needed to be forgiven, what hunger
went underground once more, pacified.

NYC puddles

The other midtown (found in water). Photos taken 2/1/08.


Holy chihuahua, I was so in love today. I was let out early because apparently I had a bad case of the computer cooties (long story, no need to get into it here). Usually when I get out of work the sun has been long gone and most people are having dinner. Today, though, I was out at twilight and I saw how much unexpected beauty was waiting for me in the rain.

Walking past the lions library I was astounded by the way the buildings and shadows were reflected in the puddles during the onset of early evening. I kept walking up and down the block, marveling at the mirror images of skyscraper and tree branches and umbrellas and legs perfectly reflected on the ground. I was able to take some photos with my handy-dandy point-and-shoot while the rush hour pedestrians swirled around me, but I don't think my camera captured the magic of being there in that blue moment of golden lights and muted shadows.

The interesting thing was no one seemed to notice what I was enchanted by. In those few minutes of strolling up and down that block, it really felt like there was an opened treasure chest in front of me brimming with gold, and those walking past it were more intent on heading to their next destination. A more plausible idea is that I tend to heighten things beyond normative standards.

In any case, here are more photos from my mesmerized walk in the rain. They're not exactly Edward Steichen, but hopefully these unretouched photos reflect how much I enjoyed today's lousy weather.