fact is stranger than fiction

sand shark exposed. Cape May - photo taken 7/7/05.


On the first day of my writing class my teacher walked in, introduced himself, and said, "While I get my papers ready I'd like you to do the following. Write one sentence, just one, about something extraordinary about yourself or that actually happened in your life."

We wrote. Then he said, "OK. Now, write another sentence, just one, that is extraordinary about you or that happened to you. But this time, it's completely untrue. The important thing is it has to be just as believable as the previous statement you just wrote." He added, "And by the way, this isn't a test. It's just a way for me to stall so I can get ready."

A few minutes later he said, "OK, let's all go around the room, say our names, and then each of us read both sentences. And don't tell us which is true and which is made up. The rest of us will take a vote on which we think is which."

I liked him immediately. It was such a clever way to get to know each other without having to do the whole "tell me about yourself and what you do" ice-breaker rigmarole.

What my classmates came up with were delightful. One was a bitch in a military prison, one slept with her best friend's father when she was 17, one climbed up the highest peak in Nepal, one was arrested for kidnapping, etc. I won't tell you which was fact and which was fiction. I'm a lot of things, but I ain't no creative writing snitch.

Here are the two sentences I wrote:
1. I quit my full-time job to live by myself everyday in the suburbs and give myself the chance to become a real writer.
2. I was the only one in my group to win a full scholarship to the Culinary Institute.

My teacher said, "I hope to god the first one isn't true." (At this point I was like, I LOVE THIS MAN!) He raised his hand. "I vote the second one is true," he said. "Who's with me?"

Three-fourths of the class raised their hands. Only two people raised their hands for the first sentence. I told him my answer. (Here Teaneck T interjects: If you don't know which of my two sentences are true, you have no business reading this photoblog.)

My teacher looked stunned for a second. Then he said, "Let's try to make this a good class for you." I said, laughing, "No, no, I don't want that kind of pressure on either of us."

The rest of the class went smoothly. High-octane, pure unleaded gasoline, as I'd like to describe it. The whole evening I kept thinking, Hooray for stupid moves! Hooray for cliff-jumpers worldwide!!!